My husband and I have been on this adoption journey, officially, for almost 2 years. Finally, our prayers were answered and we were delivered an expectant mother who had chosen us to parent her unborn daughter. We connected with her and her husband. They assured us that this is what they wanted and that we were the parents of that baby.
We spent weeks preparing our home with little pink this and little pink that. We chose her name.
We chose her name.
And finally. She was born. We went to the hospital to meet her and were told we could actually take her home that day. Which, we happily did. We took her home.
We took her home.
It didn't take us long to figure out, and appreciate, the new rhythem of our lives with this precious soul we were blessed with. We fed her. We changed her. We read to her. We prayed over her. We comforted her. We imagined who she would grow up to be. We loved her.
We love her.
A week passed and the day the birth mother was to sign the paperwork to have her parental rights revoked...we got a call. Our social worker gave us the news that the birth mother has now decided to parent and...we have to give her back.
We had to give our daughter back.
I have never felt such grief and heartbreak in my life. Those little break ups I had in the past that I thought I would never recover from...nothingness. We were there! We had her and where ready to give her the most wonderful life as possible.
Heartbreak, I want you gone. Removed from my life and my gut. There is no room for you here. Please go away and make room for the love that we have to give.
We carry on, more determined, more hopeful...stronger.