By now, I’m sure you have heard the news that Ryan “Hey Girl” Gosling, will be taking a break and stepping away from acting for awhile. Let’s face it, dude has been going at it pretty strong since he was 12. He deserves a break. Gosling told the Associate Press, “I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing. I think it’s good for me to take a break and reassess why I’m doing it and how I’m doing it.” Amen brother. Going by the last few films he’s been in, I think he needs a time out. Now before you get all sad and suicidal about a future without Gosling, know that you can find help. A hotline, or “Gosline”, has been created for those who can’t find the strength to get out or bed, or those who need a waste some cash. Also, Goslings, Ryan has several movies slated to be released in the next 2 years. This gives us some time to adjust. I’m sure Gosling is in the middle of an existential crisis right now. What does it all mean? What will I do? I can’t spend all of my off time traveling the work all footloose and fancy free. Not to worry Gos. I’ve got you covered. I have come up with 5 ways I think you should spend your new found free time.
1. Start campaigning for People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Two years in a row, we have all been very troubled by People Magazine shunning our boy of his rightful title. Gosling needs to go door to door and get America to rally together to make sure this injustice doesn’t see a third year.
2. While he’s out campaigning, he can apologize for Drive, Gangster Squad & Crazy Stupid Love. On second thought, he showed off his crazy stupid “photo shopped” abs in Crazy Stupid Love, so I can forgive that one.
3. Take up ventriloquism. Lars & the Real Girl is my favorite Gosling performance. Library story time will never be the same.
4. Get back to his musical roots. In 2009, Gosling and his BFF Zach Shields released a cd full of creepy music. It’s as if Bela Lugosi had a band. They can do some touring and really get in touch with the fans. Or, he can host a new reality show to form the next, New, New Mickey Mouse Club.
5. Full time emotional super hero. We know that he can handle himself in a street fight, so there’s nothing to prove by wasting his time stopping the common criminal. He’s gonna get in there deeper and take care of any emotional crimes committed against you, girl.