October Newsletter: The real horror story is my journal from the year 2000
Unmuted & Unedited
Wrestling With My Own Ghosts
What I really want to do is publish a collection of personal essays.
There. I haven’t just whispered it to myself—I’ve officially stamped it into a newsletter and broadcast it to over a hundred inboxes.
Lately, I’ve been chipping away at this manuscript in the margins of life. Between raising a family, working a full-time gig, and juggling several freelance deadlines, free hours don't magically appear. But carving out the time isn't even the hardest part. The real horror show is digging up past versions of myself for the sake of honest reflection and humorous tales.
When I first set out on this path, I pulled out an old journal circa 2000. Yeesh. I slammed it shut after skimming only a couple of entries. The cringe that I cringed. It’s one thing to vaguely recall the reckless choices of your youth; it’s an entirely different beast to read your exact internal monologue while you were making them. It is not for the faint of heart.
For context, I was 24. Fresh out of college, dating my first husband, grinding at jobs I couldn't care less about, and running amok with my best friends. Standard early-twenties behavior, right? Rationally, I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed by a kid fumbling through the dark, trying to figure out who she was and where she fit in the world. But standing here decades later, it is brutally hard not to judge her.
Wrestling with our past selves is uncomfortable work. But if you’re brave enough to summon those old memories, do it with an open heart and an open mind. Take the lesson, make the necessary adjustments, and keep walking your path of healing and growth.
And if that old ghost continues to haunt you? Draw a line of salt and keep moving.
Rugged Tip of the Month: Offer your past self some grace—or draw the line of salt.
The version of you from ten or twenty years ago made decisions with the limited information, emotional tools, and survival instincts she had at the time. Cringing at her just means you’ve evolved. Read the old journal entry, acknowledge the growth, have a good laugh, and leave the ghost in the rearview mirror where she belongs.
106 Don't You Dare Shuffle This Playlist
Remember the perfect flannel you gave away, or the mixtape you labeled by hand? This week we rewind the 90s: what's coming back, what should stay buried, and how to wear the trend with the confidence you've earned.
You'll also hear about our first-day-of-school "retreat," a surprise date night, and a Post-it hack.
217 The Shape Returns: Halloween (2018)
This week we're back in Haddonfield for Halloween (2018). The film opened huge and topped the box office, but we disagree on whether it holds up. Hear the full debate, the final rating, and a pile of new-movie reviews, from The Weight to Resident Evil to a very good dog.
083 Welcome to the Lillardverse: Serial Mom's Suburban Mayhem
Big news: Down to Watch has a new miniseries, and it's all about Matthew Lillard.
We're calling it the Lillardverse, and each episode follows his career, range, and growth as an actor. We're skipping around the filmography (the early years can be a slog), but we're starting where it all began: John Waters' Serial Mom.
This week we cover how Lillard's quiet performance planted the seeds of Stu Macher, and where Serial Mom fits in the '90s true crime and courtroom craze. Plus a double-feature pick and a big correction Dan would like you to forget.
S4 E3: Tadao Arimoto's Artistic Legacy in Woodworking
Woodworker, sculptor, and furniture designer Tadao Arimoto moved to Pittsburgh from Japan in 1976 — and has spent decades since turning cherry, ash, oak, and walnut into functional art.
In this conversation with Dr. Gretchen Givens Generett, Tadao talks about learning from Japanese carpenters, teaching woodworking at Manchester Bidwell for nine years, his 10+ years on the Contemporary Craft board, and the "happy accidents" that shape his process.
His artistic philosophy, in his own words: "Look at nature more often, and try to get out of a chicken coop."
Fresh Off The Press
How Assemble built 15 years of radical making in Garfield- Pittsburgh City Paper
MCG Jazz Legends 2026 Portraits - Currently on display at MCG Jazz, but you can view them on my website!
The Final Girl Evolution - Blog
Currently Obsessed With...
📺 Diarra From Detroit
By pure happenstance, I stumbled across a show on Paramount+ called Diarra from Detroit. I hadn’t seen much chatter about it online, so I was surprised to discover it was already rolling into its second season. The trailer earned an immediate chuckle, so I hit play—and boy, am I glad I did.
Featuring a predominantly Black cast telling an authentic, multi-layered story, the show manages to completely bypass the tired tropes and stereotypes we see far too often. Massive credit goes to creator, writer, and star Diarra Kilpatrick. She has delivered an inventive, fresh spin on the detective noir genre packed with sharp humor, real heart, and genuine depth. If you’re looking for a clever mystery that doesn't take itself too seriously while remaining wildly compelling, put this on your watchlist.
I saw the American remake, which barely left an impression. This original is haunting and tragic, on so many levels.
It's giving soulful trip hop. Zero skips
Two barrels. Four bodies. And a cold case that changed how murders will be investigated forever.
Inspired by Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Scream, the story follows Lynnette Tarkington and five other women who are the real-life sole survivors of famous mass-murder sprees.
Coming Up in November
I'm working on a big project that I hope to announce next month.
Covering my past journals in salt,
🎃Kahmeela
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